From Exodus International

real stories by paula warkentin

Christ, My Hiding Place Prior to a personal encounter with Jesus Christ, I described myself as a Black, Radical, Lesbian, Feminist to state my identity, so that others could not define me. As a first generation Canadian (born to immigrant parents) I grew up feeling displaced. This, coupled with exposure to sexual sin in my childhood, and experience of racism, imprinted a deep sense of worthlessness for my racial identity and my gender. While appearing to be confident and smiling outwardly, inwardly I HATED being black AND female. Faced with the irony of constantly being asked, "where I was from" (when I was in the city, province and country of my birth) and often reminded that I was not a "true" West Indian, (because I had not been born in the country of my parents) I never felt I belonged. Failing to develop a sound sense of who I was, I felt overtly visible and exposed. Desperate for cover and a place to hide, I walked with walls (living in exile) because I was affirmed, neither here nor there when all I wanted was to be accepted and have a place to call home. I enrolled in a Women's Studies class when I found the belonging I so desperately longed for. Hearing words like marginalized, oppressed and silenced were terms that echoed my reality and offered the validation and community I had been seeking. Before long, I was a publicly outspoken, militant, activist in the Feminist Movement who sought confirmation and security in what would become a long-term lesbian relationship. Click to read full article