Jessica Hughes wrote a fascinating essay titled: ”Feeling too tired?” on why young Americans find it nearly impossible to juggle church with all the other competing obligations in life (see it on my Face Book page). She lists all the things she does for herself and her family, and then concludes that “after processing the daily stimuli of this busy world, the Christian faith adds another level of processing – and then – pondering information and ideas through activities like prayer and reflection, reading and studying the Bible, going to church, and thinking more fully and deeply about how to live well. Thus I feel too tired to be a Christian.” I’ve seen the same thing in many others even if they don’t have the guts to admit it. Christianity is one more complication to an already frenetic life.

If by “church” Jessica means having to get the kids up, cleaned and transported to church on Sunday morning, I couldn’t agree with her more. If she means having to follow the pastor’s instruction about keeping “quiet times,” attending Bible studies, being nicer, and keeping the family occupied with church meetings and events (focus on what we do for God instead of what God has done for us in his Son), Jessica has to be right. If she means interfering with our marriage and family time, and especially with the time we should be spending with non-Christian friends (in the ooooo dangerous world outside the walls of the church castle), then I am convinced that “church” is a huge negative and something to be avoided like the mumps and our old gangster friends (I don’t actually have any gangster friends, but I think a good church planter should have a few).

On the other hand, if church is the community that brings joy, laughter, balance, and encouragement for the other demands of life – if church is where you are strengthened and transformed by truth from God’s Word and the sacraments -if church is where we we can invest your time in matters that are not frivolous but have eternal significance – if church is where you grow in your roles as friends, parents, wives and husbands – then Jessica’s point misses the point. It’s possible to be in the church and miss THE PURPOSE of church. Joshua Harris says, “The church is earth’s single best place – God’s specially designed place – to start over, to grow and to change for the glory of God.” Church is so central to God’s plan for Christians, “The Church is not an addition after conversion; the Church is an aspect of conversion. Romeo doesn’t marry Juliet’s body after he marries Juliet” (Peter Kreeft).

The Bible teaches that “church” is God’s idea and that he loves it (Eph 5:25). It teaches that church is God’s way of delivering the manifold wisdom of God (3:10). There is no such thing in God’s plan for lone-ranger Christians who try to make it on their own – who don’t share God’s love for his family. Sure the church is imperfect and filled with sinners and hypocrites, but God chose this unlikely way to deliver his grace to a people who, in all truthfulness, really need him.

How can Holy Trinity be the church and not be just another burden? The answer is Stop Dating the Church and Fall in Love with the Family of God. In Joshua Harris’ book by this title he distinguishes between the two ways of relating to the church and suggests that you can spot a church-dater a mile away.

First, their attitude is me-centered. What can I get from this church? How can it feed me?

Second, they go through the motions without really investing themselves. They go to church because they are supposed to, not because they see “church” as explosively powerful for transforming the world.

And third, a church-dater tends to be critical and tends to have a consumer mentality – what’s the best product for the price on Sunday mornings.

And I would add a fourth to Harris: they see church as what happens on Sundays rather than as a community that brings joy, laughter, balance and encouragement for the other demands of life. The church, whether it meets at Freetail Brewery to discuss a book, or Plaza Lecea for worship, or at the Manz home for movie night is a family I can fall in love with. So, stop dating the church and fall in love with the Family of God!

Are you too tired to be in God’s family, the church? I’m too tired not to be.