LIL SLICE O’ GOOFY

From The Midwest Conservative Journal:

Wednesday, January 14th, 2009

The vindictiveness, and there is no other word for it, of Episcopalians never ceases to astound. The Rev. Joy Mills of Paoli, Pennsylvania is incensed that Rick Warren has offered worship space to orthodox Episcopalians sued out of their buildings:

I am sickened by Rick Warren’s apparent exploitation of Barack Obama’s generous invitation to him to give the inaugural prayer. Warren has besmirched Obama’s invitation by choosing to write this letter to “dissident Episcopalians” before the inauguration and to have it announced on the day Obama announced his invitation to Gene Robinson to offer a prayer at the Lincoln Memorial on Sunday. My heart breaks that Obama’s reaching out can be so twisted by Rick Warren at a time when the Gospel of love and inclusiveness may make all the difference to the survival of humanity. I dread hearing the words of Warren’s prayer on Tuesday. Instead of sowing seeds of love, he waters seeds of hatred. The choice is always ours; may we choose love.

So is Barbara Danner of Bufurd, Georgia.

Thank you for reporting this news. It would be more helpful if Rick Warren stuck to helping AIDS victims instead of getting into state politics and into issues within a denomination of which he has no part. It is very, very sad that he will be giving the invocation at President-elect Obama’s inauguration. Warren will be the shadow on an otherwise bright day. The opening prayer at the first event of the inauguration on Sunday at the Lincoln Memorial that will be given by the Rt. Rev. Gene Robinson will shine the light of equality, balance, and inclusion we need – in stark contrast to what Warren represents.

Quick question. According to Mrs. Schori and others, the people to whom Pastor Warren offered this space have left the Episcopal Organization. That being the case, what business is it of yours who offers them worship space?

If the local movie theater complex rents space to these people or if they rent a storage locker and worship there, will you organize boycotts of both? If the local school district lets them use a junior high school gym, will you organize a “Vote No” campaign the next time they want a tax increase? If they worship under a tree in some city park, will you call the ACLU?

Do you people have any conception how bad this makes you and your pseudo-spiritual organization look? Who do you think would find such spite even remotely attractive? If these people are, as you continually claim, no longer Episcopalians, then you are the ones who are butting in where you don’t belong.

On the lighter side, old friend Ed Clarke of Cuyahoga Falls, Ohio weighs in with this humorous letter.

Sorry, Arlene, but I strongly disagree with everything that you said, and I reject your opinions out of hand.

Suck it up, Arlene. The Great Eduardo, The Amazing One-Man Anglican Magisterium, is never wrong.

The Episcopal Church is actually, literally, physically re-writing the Bible? I don’t think so, friend! I don’t recall having received anything in writing from our Presiding Bishop, my diocesan bishop, or my local priest saying that the Episcopal Church is officially planning on doing any such thing.

If you’re scoring at home, that was an attempt at humor.

I also get very fed up with hearing [that]“the people didn’t leave the Church, the Church left the people.” That’s ridiculous! How could a CHURCH leave people? Did it become animate, grow legs, and walk away? Sorry, but the PEOPLE did definitely leave the Church, no question about it.

So was that. And by the way, ladies, they did leave the pseudo-spiritual organization, Ed Clarke of Cuyahoga Falls, Ohio says so, so mind your own business.

Also, the court made the right decision about the property. Anybody who deliberately and knowingly leaves the church for his or her own personal reasons

See?

has no right to take any kind of church property. I think that these people who have left the church

I think what Ed’s getting at is that these people have left the pseudo-spiritual organization.

over the homosexual issue have lost track of what’s actually happening in modern day culture. Like it or not, society has changed in 2,000 years! If most of our traditional denominational churches want to survive beyond the second half of this century, we’d better start changing with it.

Channelling Spong. Told you Ed was funny.

The Bible is a beautiful book.

Here at the home, we have a gorgeous genuine leather bound one on a stand in the common room. None of that bonded leather garbage. It gets a little dusty sometimes but the staff takes care of that.

I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Except secular approval. I mean, be reasonable. We don’t want people to think that we actually believe that crap.

On the other hand, it IS 2,000 years old

Almost as old as…no, no. Too easy.

and has to be read with that in mind.

Apparently there are no enduring truths in Cuyahoga Falls, Ohio. Vague, Ambiguous Deity Concept bless you, Ed. You keep guys like me going.

UPDATE: Wow. Just…wow. A commenter to this post informs me that Johnson’s First Law of Episcopal Thermodynamics(Every joke you make about the Episcopalians eventually comes true) has kicked in even faster than usual:

Chris, you wrote:

“If the local movie theater complex rents space to these people or if they rent a storage locker and worship there, will you organize boycotts of both? If the local school district lets them use a junior high school gym, will you organize a “Vote No” campaign the next time they want a tax increase? If they worship under a tree in some city park, will you call the ACLU?”

Actually, yes. Our small Anglican church was forced out of the location where we were meeting (and paying rent) because some of the local Episcopalians didn’t like the fact that we were meeting at all. So they pressured the decision-makers at that location and soon after we were told we needed to find a new place to meet. Feel the love!