SEPPUKU

from Midwest Conservative Journal by The Editor

The Evangelical Lutheran Church in America takes out its sword:

"The presiding bishop of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America is suggesting that the Bible isn’t the last word on homosexuality."

Don’t tell me, let me guess. The Biblical writers didn’t know about it.

"In a town hall meeting Sunday, Bishop Mark Hanson said, “the understanding we have of homosexuality today does not seem to be reflected at all in the context of the biblical writers.”"

And since people like Paul, Peter, John, James, etc. were bigoted morons…

"Therefore, he said, Lutherans should consider more modern views on sexual orientation."

Apparently, Hanson’s deity can’t seem to make up his mind.

"But Hanson insisted the ELCA can accommodate [liberal and conservative] views. In his words, “God is still speaking to us.”"

Makes sense to me. You know, like how a person can be racist and not racist? Anyway, before proceeding to Hanson’s punchline, immediately swallow what you’re drinking and remove all liquids from the vicinity of your computer.

"{He also suggests that more homosexual-friendly policies may help the denomination grow."

Bishop Hanson, you are aware that the Episcopalians are tanking so fast that…aw, the heck with it. Let Chopper find out for himself.