BISHOP SQUARED

from Midwest Conservative Journal by The Editor

Having failed to secure the episcopal election of Kevin Genpo Malcolm Peter Brian Telescope Adrian Umbrella Stand Jasper Wednesday (pops mouth twice) Stoatgobbler John Raw Vegetable (whinnying) Arthur Norman Michael (blows squeaker) Featherstone Smith (whistle) Northgot Edwards Harris (fires pistol, then ‘whoop’) Mason (chuff-chuff-chuff-chuff) Frampton Jones Fruitbat (laughs) (squeaker) Gilbert (sings) ‘We’ll keep a welcome in the’ (three shots) Williams If I Could Walk That Way Jenkins (squeaker) Tiger-drawers Pratt Thompson (sings) ‘Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head’ Darcy Carter (horn) Pussycat (sings) ‘Don’t Sleep In The Subway’ Barton Mainwaring (hoot, ‘whoop’) Smith Thew Forrester, the Episcopal Diocese of Northern Michigan takes another run at it:

The Diocese of Northern Michigan has nominated three men and one woman in the search for its 11th bishop.

The Rev. Dr. Susanna E. Metz, a former Roman Catholic religious and executive director of the Center for Ministry in Small Churches at the University of the South.

The Rev. Rayford J. Ray, a 20-year veteran of ministry in Northern Michigan and a member of the diocese’s Episcopal Ministry Support Team.

The Rev. Nigel J. Taber-Hamilton, a native of England and rector of St. Augustine’s-in-the-Woods Church, Freeland, Wash.

The Rev. Jos C. Tharakan, a native of India and rector of All Saints Church in Russellville, Ark.

Any one of these candidates would make a fine bishop. Dr. Metz, for example, would ideally situated to welcome into the Episcopal Organization that literally Biblical flood of disaffected Roman Catholics who should be arriving any day now. And Taber-Hamilton would be able to effectively reach the Upper Peninsula’s British-American community.

But there’s really only one way the Diocese can go. Having spent 20 years working in the Diocese, Ray Ray obviously knows the Upper Peninsula.

Since he’s lived among them for so long, Ray Ray is intimately acquainted with the Yoopers; he knows how they think and how they feel as well as what inspires and motivates them. So Ray Ray is the obvious choice for the next Episcopal Bishop of Northern Michigan.

The fact that I’ll get to type Ray Ray a lot is just a happy accident.