PARTY AT WALT’S!!

from Midwest Conservative Journal by The Editor

From the looks of things, Walt Brueggemann just scored some high-grade Pakistani Black:

Walter Brueggemann told the opening session of the 41st Trinity Institute Jan. 20 that 21st century Christians need to stop being mired in old quarrels over scriptural interpretation and instead approach the Bible as “an intricate set of symbols and signs and signals that are arranged in a certain imaginative, artistic configuration that yield a new kind of reality.”

A new kind of reality? What, this one too boring for you? Step away from the bong, Walt. Now.

Shorter Brueggemann: Upset that adultery is a sin? No problem. We’ll just rearrange the Bible’s “intricate set of symbols and signs and signals” so that you can nail anyone you care to.

Brueggemann, an Old Testament scholar and professor emeritus at Columbia Theological Seminary, Decatur, Georgia, said that such an approach can help Christians engage with the Bible in a way that avoids pre-packaged interpretation.

You know, that crap about words having meanings certain people really wish that they didn’t have.

Instead, he said, Christians and the churches to which they belong need to engage with the Bible in a way that gives them a place to stand in their lives and their faith in the midst of “the power of nation states, the reductionisms of scientism and in the capricious power of the marketplace.

Count me out, Walt. All that is another way of saying Christians should believe whatever the world tells them to believe. And in case you’ve forgotten, Walt, the world doesn’t like us, never has and never will.

But I did leave you a big bag of Doritos, Walt. I’ve got a feeling that you’re going to be crushing them later.