NOW BATTING FOR YOUR TOLEDO MUD HENS…SØREN KIERKEGAARD!!

from Midwest Conservative Journal by The Editor

Welcome to another exciting episode of the Katharine Jefferts Schori Non Sequitur Theater. This week, we’re coming to you from beautiful Toledo, Ohio:

Although some individuals and congregations have since left the denomination, tensions have eased somewhat in the 4 1/2 years since, Bishop [Katharine] Jefferts Schori said before the Winter Convocation of the Episcopal Diocese of Ohio.

Why wouldn’t tensions ease what with intelligent people figuring out who the Anglican Communion’s real “Archbishop of Canterbury” is and hitting the bricks shortly thereafter?

“Clearly, some people hold their positions as firmly as they ever have, but I think most everyone is recognizing that these aren’t life or death issues for most people,” she said in her first visit to the Toledo area since beginning her nine-year term.

They are if you believe in an afterlife.

Of more concern to people in developing nations are basic survival issues such as having enough food to eat, combating malaria and other diseases, and avoiding the perils of war in one’s own community. Jobs and the economy are also of primary concern worldwide, she said.

On the other hand, we here in the West are physically incapable of suffering any kind of illness, our plants provide us with a new crop every week, our pigs and cattle butcher themselves for our pleasure, all kinds of seafood jump into our boats and money here literally does grow on trees.

“I don’t think anybody takes everything [in the Bible] completely literally,” she said. “

We know you don’t, anyway.

The tension is more around which parts are more important.

The stuff that backs up what we want to accomplish here on Earth is important. The rest of it is filler.

I think Anglicanism — the Episcopal Church is part of the Anglican tradition — Anglicanism at its best has said that the wisdom of community is important in interpreting Scripture.

Here in the Episcopal Church, which is part of the Anglican tradition, Scripture means whatever the majority of the “wisdom of community” wants it to mean. Cool how that works, isn’t it?

One’s rational capacity, reason, is important in interpreting Scripture.

Oh. I thought that all we had to do was eat the pages.

We can’t just read it and understand what it means.

It has all these words and stuff. And all those words have letters. How is anyone supposed to make sense of all those words and letters and stuff?

For one thing, most of us don’t read in the original languages.

Most of us easily read excellent, scholarly translations of those original languages made by people whose solitary goal was explaining exactly what those original languages were trying to communicate.

And meanings of words have changed over the centuries,” she said.

No. Really? I know English hasn’t ever changed at all. Here’s the text of Beowulf. See what I mean?

As an example, she said, in Shakespeare’s time, the word “nice” meant “stupid,” from the root for “to not know,” unlike today’s definition of “agreeable” or “pleasant.”

Presiding Bishop? You’re beginning to ramble.

“We have to use the best scholarship in reading the Bible,” she said.

And once again, you understand why I included that quote below the title of this establishment.

“The questions are different in different ages. Christians in the western context today are asking questions about human sexuality that people weren’t asking 300 years ago. They were asking questions about what it means to be in right relationship with their kings or the government, and we’re focused on a different set of questions today.”

I’m not sure what that has to do with anything at all since Christians everywhere, in all times, then as well as now, have all asked themselves the most important of all questions. How do I get my sins taken care of so that I can go home to God? How are you going to help people answer that one, Presiding Bishop?

Growing churches also pay attention to the needs of young people, she said. “Members of congregations have to recognize that they can’t just expect people to come to them, particularly young adults. The more important way to approach young people is to go out into the community and meet them where they are. Young adults in particular are interested in making a difference in the world.”

Young people are attracted to settings such as pubs or campus venues where they can “explore spiritual questions, ask questions of meaning, and wrestle with questions of faith,” she said. meaning, and wrestle with questions of faith,” she said.

Not that the Episcopalians will ever have any affect on any of those kids.

The Episcopal Church is at its best when it helps people grapple with questions and find their own answers, she added. It’s not a church that tells people what to think.

Because you shouldn’t give answers you don’t believe in. People tend to see right through that kind of hypocrisy.