Friday, November 15, 2013

Roman Catholics?  I’ll see your Catholic morons and raise you these guys:

On a Veterans Day broadcast program, televangelist Kenneth Copeland and controversial historian David Barton told listeners that soldiers should never experience guilt or post-traumatic stress disorder after returning from military service.

Reading from Numbers 32: 20-22, Copeland said, “So this is a promise — if you do this thing, if you arm yourselves before the Lord for the war … you shall return, you’re coming back, and be guiltless before the Lord and before the nation.”

“Any of you suffering from PTSD right now, you listen to me,” Copeland said as Barton affirmed him. ”You get rid of that right now. You don’t take drugs to get rid of it. It doesn’t take psychology. That promise right there will get rid of it.”

Barton added that many biblical warriors “took so many people out in battle,” but did so in the name of God.

“You’re on an elevated platform up here. You’re a hero, you’re put in the faith hall of fame,” Barton said. “… When you do it God’s way, not only are you guiltless for having done that, you’re esteemed.”

I used to have bad anxiety attacks.  During the single worst attack I ever had, I literally thought I was having a heart attack.  I got to thinking about my personal situation at the time, which was not good, and my thoughts started to go from there.

I began to sweat, my chest was tight and it started to be tough to breathe.  Oh Lord, please let me die in the apartment parking lot, I thought, as I immediately headed home.

When I safely arrived, I called in sick and then called my doctor who had me come in immediately.  When he saw me, my doctor thought it might be an anxiety attack but wanted to make sure so he got me an appointment at a local facility for a stress echo test which I had later that afternoon.

That’s one of those tests where they take an ultrasound of your heart,  have you get up on a treadmill and go for as long as you can while they gradually increase the speed and then take another ultrasound.

I learned several things from that test.  Before the test even began, they took vitals.  Whereupon a nurse informed me that one of the goals of this test was to get my heart beating at a certain rate and that I was already 70% of the way when I got there.

I learned that I was grossly out of shape; they’d seen older people than me who went two minutes longer than I did.  I also learned that there was nothing wrong with my heart (and that it’s disconcerting to watch your own heart beat through the ultrasound).

So it’s good to know that I could have found myself an appropriate Bible verse and spoken all this away.
Gentlemen?  Do you two cretins have any idea how many times over a great many years that Genesis 2:18 has come up in my prayers to God?  Yet I remain single and will probably die alone.  And have either of you ever contemplated what “You shall not put the Lord your God to the test” means?

You da man, T.

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