Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Satire Alert

Episcopal Church on Track to Make Church Grow
Plans in hand to release draft recommendations in early 2014

A Satirical Essay

By David W. Virtue
December 11, 2013

NEWS REPORT: Episcopal Church releases first draft on making The Episcopal Church grow. It reveals that "edgy ideas will shake things up, hopefully" and gives suggestions for the future shape of the organization church wide.

CHAIRMAN: Come to order please. Would the spokesperson for the Task Force for Re-imagining the Episcopal Church (TREC) please bring us up to date on how we can grow the church in 2014?

"Thank you madam chairperson. My name is the Rev. Joseph Humpbottom from the Diocese of Newark where as you know we have 35 gay and lesbian priests. We began our session by contemplating the 'other' for 15 minutes. Then we continued the process of getting in touch with our inner selves followed by 20 minutes of listening to each other's heartfelt stories about how we became Episcopalians after being rejected by homophobic churches all across America. (Rev. Humpbottom pauses to take out his pink handkerchief to wipe away his tears.)

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