PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

from Midwest Conservative Journal by The Editor

Bishop Schori

Hello. My name is Katharine Jefferts Schori, Presiding Bishop of the Episcopal Church of the United States of America.

As Christians, we believe that our work in the world is to is to reconcile all persons to unity with God and each other in Christ. And our own Baptismal Covenant charges us to respect the dignity of every human being.

One of the ways we Episcopalians do both is raise awareness of and help fight human diseases that attack and ravage all those made in God’s image. For example, the Episcopal Church has led the way in the fight against AIDS and is currently working hard to provide people with the means to reduce or eradicate the scourge of malaria.

But I want to talk to you about a far deadlier health risk, a far greater medical disaster than any previously known in human history. This disease kills an estimated 60,000,000 people every year and no part of the world is safe from it, including our own. And this disease has a name.

Death.

How can we reconcile all persons to unity with God and each other in Christ if those persons are pushing up daisies? How can we respect anyone’s dignity by standing by and doing nothing while they or one of their loved ones shuffles off this mortal coil?

Short answer: we can’t.

That is why when we here at Church Center recently received e-mails from several groups soliciting our financial support for the fight against death, we enthusiastically agreed. I have, at the request of these groups, directed the Episcopal Church’s accounting departments as well as all dioceses and diocesan or parochial foundations to provide any account numbers and routing numbers these groups may require.

We decided to take these steps because, shockingly, our own government spends absolutely nothing on death prevention research. Nothing whatsoever. As a member of President Obama’s Advisory Council on Faith-Based and Neighborhood Partnerships, you may rest assured I intend to bring the matter to the President’s personal attention at the Council’s very next meeting.

What kinds of groups will the Episcopal Church partner with in the struggle against this ravenous killer? The oldest is the Death Understanding and Mitigation Project. You may have seen their distinctive brown bumper stickers reading, “Take a DUMP!” on Priuses, Chevy Volts and Smart cars where you live.

Another of these groups is the Death Information and Termination Society. And you’ll be soon be able to purchase their popular “I’m a DITS” buttons, bumper stickers and T-shirts at the Episcopal Church’s online bookstore.

We’ll also be working with and supporting groups working to eliminate those factors which facilitate death such as the Anti-Hurricane Coalition, the North American Anti Accident Association(NAAAA), the North American Anti Accidental Assasination Alliance(NAAAAA) and End All Terrible and Massive Earthquakes(EAT-ME).

And as we have all seen, tsunamis can bring death to hundreds of thousands. This is why the work of the King Canute Coalition is so vitally important. When science one day comes up with a way for humanity to command the tide to stay out, countless lives, both human and aquatic, will be saved as a result.

How would humanity benefit by eliminating death? Excellent question. Experts believe that health care costs would drop dramatically as many conditions which lead to death would disappear. And the church would greatly benefit as many of its most strident debates, particularly those about a so-called “afterlife,” would no longer have any relevance whatsoever.

What with nobody dying and all.

Right now, you may be asking, “Bishop Katharine? This is such a big fight and I’m just a filthy little lay person. What can I do?” The answer is quite a bit. You can financially support any of the groups I’ve mentioned or others that will be listed on the Episcopal Church’s web site in the coming months.

You can sign the Episcopal Church’s anti-death petition which should be online in a few days. And those are just two suggestions. The ways that you can raise awareness of death, as well as the struggle against it, in your parish, your school or your hometown are limited only by your imagination.

Is this a tall order? There is none taller. But never forget that we Christians are and always have been an Easter people. Thank you.